Work commitments seem to be weighing heavily these days. I can't seem to get out of work before 5:00 pm. Which means I am not home before 6:00pm. That is 12 hours away from home. I get up at 5:30 in the morning and go to bed at 9:00 at night. That should be 8 and half hours of sleep and yet I am exhausted when I get home. I have no energy to work on quilts or the studio. I have found myself getting easily frustrated with employees and having to watch that I don't take things the wrong way. I know work won't fall apart if I leave on time but things don't get done if I don't do them. I hate to be behind or worse putting out fires. It seems I am doing a lot of both lately.
I used to really enjoy my job. Not so much anymore. Adding another supervisor did not take any of the burden off me and in fact has added stress. Before, I ran the lab, I could make decisions and policies with out running it by a committee. I just mentioned it to my boss and he was fine with it. Now everything is done by consensus of the 2 supervisors and manager. I am one of the supervisors. I find myself resenting others for their lack of experience. And I find myself biting my tongue and trying not to make waves. I am really not terribly happy there anymore. I am looking for a different job but there really aren't any in the area.
Add to that my lung/bronchitis issue developed two years ago at work, when I was exposed to mold, rust, grit, and whatever chemical they used to clean out the air handler and duct the was in the ceiling of the lab where my desk is. I made the mistake of going to my doctor instead of waiting for them to send me. I really thought it was just an allergic reaction and I could deal with it but 5 days later I had bronchitis. I find that I am resenting work over all of this.
I had hoped that the Symbicort would help me breathe and I would have more energy. It has in fact seem to clear up my lungs. I am breathing much easier yet, still no energy. I have been dying of thirst. Top that off with muscle cramps and yeast infections and you have all the symptoms of diabetes. I read up on the side effects of Symbicort, one of which is increased blood sugar levels.
Now I have been tested many times over the years for diabetes and always my A1c was great. The highest my blood sugar ever tested was 133 and that was while I was on predinsone. Two years ago at the health screening at work my blood sugar was high for a fasting test. I was on prednisone but went to the doctor for a check. Again my A1c was great. Last year the health screening at work included an A1c. It showed I was borderline diabetic. I went to the doctor. I had been on prednisone several time in the previous 4 months for Bronchitis. The doctor had me come back in 4 months with me being off the prednisone and of course my A1c was again great. So I while I have kept an eye on it, I have not been too worried about being diabetic.
After expressing my irritation at being constantly thirsty, my husband urged me to check my blood sugar. It was 329. I almost freaked out. Obviously, I went to the doctor the next day. He drew the blood and had me come back two days later. I am diabetic. Which means a whole lifestyle change. I get to prick my finger twice a day now. I will need to give up the sweets, cut way back on the starches and get myself moving. I know I can do this, I have actually done it before to lose weight. I just am a little frustrated over it.
Oh and while I have always been slightly iron deficient, I am now more than moderately iron deficient. That may explain the dark circles under my eyes. I am now on prescription iron supplement as well as diabetes medication.
I guess it is no wonder I haven't felt like working on quilts or the studio. I just am too worn down to do it. I am hoping that all this medicine will help get things straightened out and I will start to feel like my old self. I need to feel like my old self. I want to be creating and finishing quilts. I want to have my studio put together and organized. I want to come home from work and feel inspired instead of worn out and frustrated.
I have never been great about annual physicals. I have always been healthy despite being overweight. I had been so focused on the bronchitis issues and work that I have been missing out on other things. I have not been taking care of myself as I should have. I have not had a good balance in my life. That has led me to missing out on things I enjoy. Including quilting. I need to rectify that.
Time to get several things back on track. Put a priority on getting my health straightened out. Let others at work pick up some of the workload. Spend time with my kids while I still have them at home. Spend time doing what I love - quilting.
How is your life balance?
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