My happy mood of two weeks ago lasted up until the Wednesday the 23rd. Once again, work got me down. I won't go into details but on Friday, I was told I had a poor attitude lately. I was also told I needed to change my attitude. I finished up work early and went home.
That weekend, I was determined to find another job as quickly as possible. I was ready to take any job. My resume is updated. I applied for a couple for jobs and spent a good deal of the weekend fighting tears. To say the least I was a bit depressed.
On Sunday, my husband gave me a priesthood blessing. In it, I was reminded that all growth does not occur outside the home and all growth doesn't occur inside the home. I was told to decide what I wanted to be and start working towards that. Now isn't that a wake up call.
While I really do like my job and most of the time my boss is really a good guy, it isn't what I dream of doing. It isn't my dream job. It is what I needed to do at the time. It is a paycheck that helps pay the bills. Sure I want to be good at it. I enjoy being the go to person. I enjoy being seen as my boss's right hand man. But it is not my passion.
I've said before what I would really like to do is own a quilt shop. It is my dream. I work for myself and get to help others learn to do what I love. It seems almost like a pipe dream. Well, that is what I want to be. So why not work toward it?
I have decided that I need to do is quit treating my current job as a career. It is a job. It pays the bills. Set backs in it are not that big a deal. Since I no longer run the lab by myself, I will stop trying to keep track of everything. This will get even easier when they add another supervisor.
I will work towards the quilt shop. Of course I have no idea how to start a business. Funding will be a big issue. I also don't have a clue about running a business. But when my daughter was looking to go back to school she came across an Entrepenuer certificate program offered at the local technical college.
I think I know where to begin. It is two semesters long and only 6 hours a semester. I believe it is offered online as well. I had planned to go find out more about it this week but ended up training a new temp in a seasonal position. So it was long days. This week my boss is out of towm so leaving early will be difficult. But I am determined to take this course. I will find out more about it.
Once I made these decisions, my mood lifted. I am not stressing over things at work. If I do my job and others of the same rank mess up, well that is up to my boss to deal with. I do not have to fix everyone's mistakes. I do not have to spend 10-12 hour days working. The other supervisor is just as capable of doing the work as I am.
I have had a marvelous attitude adjustment. Probably not the one my boss wanted but well it is one I can live with. It is amazing how little I fret over things once I started veiwing the job became as a means to reach my goal.
Perspective is everything. My focus will be on the quilt shop. I will figure out how to start it and how to run it. In the mean time I will work to pay bills and earn the money I need to make my goal happen.
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