A Few Epiphanies

One definition of Epiphany is: an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure. I noticed that even in the other definitions, it is not stated as pleasant or joyful.  While an epiphany can be a joyous one.  I've had a few this week that were kind of depressing.

Work this week seemed to sap my energy. Partially because my boss was out.  Partially because I started the week being off my usual schedule. Working full time is cutting into my quilting.  I am beginning to wonder if I am every going to put a dent into my projects.  I have come to the realization that as I get older I just don't have the drive that I used to. I get tired way to easy. Part of that is me not taking care of myself like I should.

I had made the decision about 6 months ago that I would work towards making my dream of opening a quilt shop my career choice.  I knew that I would have to continue my current job to pay off some debts first but my focus would not be work.  I would work my 8 hours and go home. I had found work to be a rather hostile environment.  I knew that as long as I focused my energy on that job, I would face constant set backs and disappointments. This helped release a lot of stress for me. I would hear the gossip about me and take the attitude that if the upper management believed it than it was their problem. I would do my job and if they didn't like it they could fire me.  I would still do things to put me in a better position financially but I would no longer treat my job as a career.

One of the Epiphanies I had this week is simply that work isn't going to let me just come in and work 8 hours.  I am not going to be able to just "do my job." I have been given a project at work to head up and am also sitting on a corporate committee to make similar projects happen corporate wide. I did not seek these out. They were handed to me.  I see that I am being groomed to take my boss's place should anything happen to him. Which would be awesome if I weren't 15 years older than him and more than likely I will reach retirement before he goes anywhere. I am not being given the freedom to  just do my job and leave after 8 hours. But I am also not being given compensation to do the extra work either. Which would be fine if I were working on my career. But since my career is build into a quilt shop, this has me a little down and more than a little frustrated.

Another Epiphany was that I am getting very territorial.   I love having a space where I can leave my tools and such out. I just stop where I am at and then I can just pick right where I left off. I don't need to set up my studio every time I want to do something. I love my grandchildren. Emerson is 18 months old. He is all boy and all go.  He loves all the cool things in my studio.  I told my husband that we may have to figure out how to put doors on the studio.  This would not be an easy feat since the whole house is open concept. We thought about gates but well Emerson would just see them as a challenge. He would find a way to use them to his advantage. I don't want my stuff messed with, but I still want my grandchildren to come over. Can't have both the way things are set up right now.

I have been busy squaring up the blocks for the first ribbon dance quilt. There are 336 blocks that need squared up. I have managed to get about 224 blocks squared up.  If I weren't on a deadline, baby coming in June, I would probably have set it aside and started something else.  But I am persevering. I want to get this one and another one done by Christmas at the latest.  It's not that I am bored with it, I just only have so much time and so many projects to get done. Another Epiphany was that I am accumulating more projects and losing sight of the ones I have planned. I need to step back and focus on what I have materials for and just do those.

The last Epiphany was that I am a scaredy cat.  I have not finished quilting the Christmas Lemonade quilt because I am scared to do it. I have started tracing the stars on and just need to switch to the open toe foot. Millie is just waiting for me to start using her.  I always seem to find an excuse not to do it.  I am going to have to set a dead line.  I need to get this quilt finished and off the machine before I have the first ribbon dance quilt ready to go on. Of course as along as it is taking me to get the blocks squared up I will have plenty of time.

So, Three not so pleasant epiphanies this week. Of course, I will just have to find a way to use these realizations to move forward. Not sure how to yet but that is just part of living. Figuring out how to be better.

Any Epiphanies in your world this week?

Good Tools and Better Tools

This week has gone by very fast.  I have not done nearly what I have wanted to.  Work as always has been a hindrance to my quilting. I wonder what it would be like to be financially secure and not have to work. But If I wasn't working, I wouldn't have the money for the long arm let alone, fabric and tools to quilt with. So working is a choice that I have made.  One that I must live with until I have paid down some debt.

Another hindrance, albeit a welcome one, has been the grandchildren.  I am lucky enough to have a couple of grandchildren close by. This week, we got to see them everyday and even had a sleep over.  I am really grateful for this time. I am afraid the reality is that most of my grandchildren don't know me at all.  This time has been good for us to get to know each other.  This too is a choice and one that is easy to make.  They won't be little forever.

Despite these two hindrances, I have done a little bit of quilting. Well mostly squaring up blocks.  In doing this I have found that I am grateful for having good tools.  I have two tools in mind. one is a rotating cutting mat and the other is a squaring up ruler.

I have two rotating cutting mats. One is a Fiskars rotating mat that I bought some time ago.  It is 14 inches square with a 13 inch cutting grid. When I bought it I thought it was ideal. I could easily square up 12 1/2 inch blocks.  I used it for a couple of years but was never really happy with it. It doesn't rotate easily. This is due to the fact that it is simply a cutting mat with a round disk attached to the back. This sits on another mat with a hole in it. It is thin and easily stored but using it is more of a work out than I would like. Still I've held on to it. I keep thinking I will find a use for it. Maybe pass it on to someone else. If nothing else it is a good cutting mat.

Fiskars rotating mat

base of the Fiskars mat

back side of the Fiskars mat

The second rotating mat I have is a Martelli rotating cutting mat.  I bought this about a year ago after seeing it on one of the Missouri Star Tutorials. It is 16 inches round but the useful cutting grid is only about 11 inches. So I am limited in the size of block I can square up. The base is actually a turntable with a felt like covering. This mat rotates easily and squaring up blocks goes quickly.  Mine came with a pressing mat that can be placed on the base instead of the cutting mat. The things is, it is cumbersome to store. I currently store it in the box it came. Once I get my studio the way I want it, I hope to have a cutting table with a drawer to hold it.

Martelli rotating cutting mat

base of Martelli cutting mat

Of the two rotating mats I find the Martelli to be the better choice. If I had to buy one of the two again I would buy the Martelli.

Creative grids 4 1/2 inch ruler

The other tool I have been using is a square up ruler.  I have many of these in multiple sizes. This week I have been using the 4 1/2 inch square.  I have a Creative Grids 4 1/2 inch square ruler that I have used many times. It has a diagonal line to help line up the block. It also has gripping dots on the back.  This ruler works well and I love it. The gripping dots keep it stable. Plus I can use it for cutting smaller sizes. It is a great tool.

I also have a 4 1/2 inch half square triangle Block-Loc ruler. This is a really nifty little tool. It has a little groove down the back that allows the ruler to be pushed up against the diagonally seam. This insures that the diagonal seam is centered.  This ruler is fun to use. It can be used for blocks smaller than 4 1/2 inches. The things is, I don't think it would work very well for other types of blocks. It really is only meant for half square triangle blocks.

4 1/2 inch Block-Loc ruler

back side of the Block-Loc ruler

 So if I had to pick one of the two rulers to buy, I would pick the Creative Grids ruler.  It is far more versatile. I do like the Block-Loc ruler. I would buy it again since I do a lot of half square triangle blocks.  I just feel it is a one trick pony. It would be fine to buy once you have a good set of other squaring up rulers.

This week I will be doing more squaring up of blocks and using my nifty tools.  I have barely made a dent in my pile of blocks. But a little each day is better than none.

What tools dis you sue this week that you really like?

 

Two Weeks Gone, Grand Kids and Connections

I can't believe I missed blogging last week.  I just don't know where the time went.  Well, maybe I do.  It has been harder to get out of the office after 8 hours a day this week. I have a new project at work that I need to make happen in the next two months.  On top of that, I have two grand kids living nearby for the first time ever.  So I am very busy.  But I have done some quilting.

First of all I decided what to do on the borders of the Christmas Lemonade quilt. I am tracing the stars onto the borders and will quilt then. If you look closely you can see the white star.  I need to change my hopping foot to the open toe foot so I can see to follow the lines.  But I did figure out what I want to do and have gotten started on doing it.

I also have started working on the Ribbon Dance quilts.  As I mentioned in a previous post, I am using 5" squares instead of 10" squares since I already have those.  I had 4 packs of Toy Chest 2 by Riley Blake and 4 packs of Micheal Miller's Cotton Couture in white. 

I am rather disappointed in the white squares. I was shocked to see that the edges were not straight and that the squares were not square.  These were not some cheap squares I picked up in a bargain bin somewhere. These were premier fabric and I am not pleased with it. I was also surprised that the white squares were noticeably smaller than the Toy Chest 2 squares.

But I did get all 336 squares sewn together.  I even got them cut apart and started pressing them. I will have to square them up and hopefully I will be able to square them up to 4 1/2 inches. But I am looking forward to sewing these squares into a quilt.

The best part of this past two weeks was coming home to the grand kids at the house.  Rorie, who is 3 years old, pulls up my saddle stool next to my desk, climbs up on it and watches me while I sew.  Or she climbs int a chair next to me and watches while I cut fabric.  She even leaned on the desk and watched as I was pressing to the dark side.  And being the smart little bug that she is, she is asking questions the whole time.

On time while I was cutting the half square triangles, She sat beside me and handed the square to me. We took the time to look at each square. Rorie told me what color each one was and what was printed on it. When her mom tried to get her to go play she wanted to stay next to me.  She said she wanted to help grandma. She even told my husband that she is learning to quilt.  It was very gratifying to have her there by me even if it took twice as long to get things done.  Hopefully these will be good memories that she will treasure.

I never knew my Grandmother Borden, I did get to sew some of her hand work though. She had made some of my parents square dancing clothes. They were amazing. I barely knew my grandmother Thomson but I don't think she sewed much. I am glad that my grand daughter is getting to know me. And I am glad that I can share this hobby with her.

I know that I have grandmothers and great grandmothers who quilted. In fact I have a quilt top that my great grandmother Borden pieced for my mother's seventh birthday. (I really need to get that finished.)  I am sure for those women quilting was a way to "use it up." The quilt top that my great grandmother made, has fabric in it that my mom remembered having dresses out of. Now I don't cut up old clothes or take left over scraps to make my quilts. I buy fabric. I plan out what I am going to do with it. It isn't a way of economizing for me.  Yet still when I sew and quilt I feel like I am connecting to those women.  I hope that in spending time teaching my granddaughter to quilt I am honoring my grandmothers and mother. I also hope Rorie will feel that connection. 

Why do you quilt? Who do you share it with?